There is a difference between experiencing love for a partner and being “in love”. Rachelle Mand, psychologist, explained the difference in her recent 10 minute presentation at the Riviera Village Leads Club.
True love is the product of experience and time. Over time, one comes to know the true personality of their partner, their beliefs and values, and their likely response to an event. One values that partner’s personality from a rational assessment. True love manifests in giving to your partner.
Being “in love”, romantic love, is more akin to needing and taking from your partner. It is an emotional connection, based on incomplete information. One fills in the blanks to make their partner seem perfect. It is akin to a delusion, as it is based on unreality. Sometimes people choose a mate to work through some past issue, usually with a parent. So in this relationship, the person seeks a “do over” to correct the past.
In the western world, we believe that one should get married just based on love. It’s said “Love Conquers All.” But as previously explained, being “in love” is more like a delusion, and can lead to later disappointment.
In most parts of the world, marriage is based on external practicalities. Couples are matched according to their personalities, beliefs, and (yes) wealth and status. But those commonalities can lead to true love.
If you find yourself “in love”, take the time to really get to know your partner. Know their past, their ambitions, their beliefs and values, and be able to correctly predict their likely response to an event. If you are a man, find out what kind of relationship the woman has/had with her father. If you are a woman, the opposite applies: find out his relationship with his mother. If you are still “in love”, you just may have found true love.
For more information, Contact Rachelle Mand.
Connect • Collaborate • Prosper